The first day of the practice was completely different. What happened was nothing to be understood. This cause of not practicing was only- what's next. My mind won't let me live. All it does all day is what's next. I am focusing too much on the future, and I completely forgot what is to live in the present. This started to affect me in all ways. My team- I did not want to be around them. My coach- not him either. All of the things, I treasured as a player was falling apart. Yet U kept writing. I kept writing my thoughts. The next match came up and yet I was not ready. I played for 10 mins. I just could not get my mind out off what I was trying to find. As soon as, I hit my jumper, I knew it was not going in.
Worst. It landed halfway. I got benched. I came in. I started writing. It felt as if everything was falling away. I wrote, " It feels like everything is falling away and none of it matters. " The loudness of the crowd will soon be replaced by the silence of solitude, the music in the stadium will quickly be replaced by the music of air... and soon I will go as well... or will I?
Coming back to the hotel, I saw myself in the mirror of what I had become... The only reason to keep going was the search of... what's next? I sat down and said to myself, " Alright, I am done being a baby. What can do to improve? " And from there everything makes sense I started to get back into my mental space.
And then...
Life Lesson: Take a hard-look at your life!
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