When we got qualified for the semi-final, I believed everything I have got came out of anger. I started remembering what anger enabled me to do. I got the energy out of it, I got my frustration out, and I got my mental barrier out. Everything that I want I got out. And the best part is that I wanted more of it. The next day I went to the training court and stood in front of everyone. I was furious thinking everyone would like my way of leadership.
For me anger was anger. Everything that I ever wanted was in there. Anger gave me everything from drive, humility, and winning matches. So I tried that in NSBC. Yet it did not work. When I worked on moves, I used my anger and humility on myself to get better. Yet it was not the same in high school; I was always on edge and driving forward. Even after winning matches.
Here everyone was different. They played for the security of money, to buy things yet when it to real performance it was gone. Nothing was going to take me out. I went to my team thinking as we are winning matches it would the anger-push method worked for them as well. Yet it did not solve the problem. I instantly remembered my high school again. And the end was, our team got separated.
All that memories came right back to me. I was standing right in front of my team. Speechless! As soon as the training got over, I went to my room and started journaling everything. From my past to my current state. I wrote everything about how I felt, hurt, betrayed, frustrated, angry, and hopeless. Everything. Everything. Once it was all out I felt as if my entire mental load of emotions was out.
Finally, I realized anger does not solve anything. It makes you think like you are solving yet you are just preparing for a bigger depression. All it does is take energy away from your body once you have achieved your goal.
Life Lesson: An angry mind is a narrow mind.
Episode 62 in 15 seconds:
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